Saint Damascus: The Bunny Story.

Once upon a time, I was feeling sick. I feel sick a lot because I have anxiety & it twists up my stomach. I ensconced myself in a blanket & smashed the couch. Yes, I said ensconced.

All of a sudden, there was a movement out the window.

I got up to check what it was. I peered out of the curtains, and what I saw made my heart burst through my ribcage & I squealed.

I squealed & I squealed to Nick (housemate) what I saw. I told him what was outside. He thought I was hallucinating. Because earlier in the story I was sick, remember?

Naturally, I RAN OUTSIDE.

I RAN OUTSIDE AND I CHASED THAT BUNNY.

I CHASED THAT BUNNY FOR HOURS.

I CHASED THAT BUNNY INTO THE SUNSET.

I did not catch it.

The next day, guess what I did?

I CHASED THE BUNNY!!

At one point my screamy neighbour tried to help, she was on her son's scooter. Her name is Sarah. She's always screaming at her boyfriend & storming out of her house. Anyway at this point in time she wasn't screaming. She was helping me catch the bunny. Unfortunately, her sons then came out & they are insane. They scared the bunny under a car & it wouldn't come out. I was this close [ <--> ] that close to getting it gently, in a towel. Because it was winter and bunnies should not be outside in the cold. Two hours later, I went back outside. The kids were still waiting underneath the car for the bunny to come out. I decided to try again tomorrow.

I decided to try a new strategy.

It did not take long for my housemates to figure out why there were a billion carrots scattered about our front yard.

When I got home from work, I was ready. I never fully considered what I would do if I actually caught the bunny, but we would definitely hang out and watch Law & Order together. I was going to catch the bunny. we were going to be best friends.

My housemates had also made an attempt at catching the bunny during the day while I was out.

They told me this when I got home, as I was getting ready to go out & catch the bunny.

Then they told me.

Nothing could prepare me for this.

APPARENTLY the bunny (MY bunny) SUPPOSEDLY belongs to our weird, party crashing, bubble-blowing, sliding-notes-under-our-door-kind-of-weird neighbour.